Very shortly after I returned from fieldwork in Russia this year, Rose and I packed up and headed for Chitina to catch enough salmon for another year of tasty fish. Copper River red salmon, recognized as prize gastronomic fare, is available to Alaska residents through a “personal use fishery” on the Copper River while the salmon are running. A household of two or more can catch 30 red salmon or 29 reds and a king. The latter combination is about as good as fish eating gets, raw or cooked.
Author Archives: kwinker
Ass Laser Tuner Wanted
Our newly expanded and renovated building has taken a bold step towards automation by installing automatic flush devices on the toilets. On the bright side, you’re likely to have sanitary improvements by not having to touch a handle that many others have touched before you (and here the question “Who knows where their hands have been?” is rhetorical). On the other hand, the damned things don’t work very well. Either you get a premature flush at the first “away” movement of the posterior (hence, ass) which requires a second flush later, or you get no flush at all. When it doesn’t flush, many people walk away, leaving an unpleasant surprise and an almost mandatory button-pushing for the poor soul who comes behind them. I put up a nicely printed sign politely urging patrons to “Please press button to confirm deposit,” but it was rather quickly removed. And it wasn’t taken down because everyone suddenly became deposit conscious; clearly many are still not getting the most from their investments (yuck).
Fart Fans and the Home Electrocution Handbook
A loud “Bang!” made me jump at my desk. It seemed to have come from the window.
“Bang!” It came again.
I got up and looked out. Rose stood out there waving and winding up to throw another snowball at the window. She had arrived a couple of minutes early to pick me up.